Male Solutions To Common Women Problems
Men are simple creatures. We really are. You come home with a set of problems, we’re going to try to fix it. Now, we know that you don’t want us to fix your problem and really just want to hear yourself talk vent and share with us the details and frustrations of the day…
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…but largely, we don’t want to hear it. Period.
And it’s not that we don’t want to hear you, it’s just that we’d really prefer not to listen to you go on and on about some problems that we could solve in a mere matter of seconds. And it spans across all types of arenas. Shoot. No pun intended.
You don’t believe me? Allow me to demonstrate.
Problem: Baby, I just look fat. This dress makes me look fat and I’m fatter than fat because I’m fat. Fat fat fat.
Desired Solution: Girl, you’re not fat, you’re beautiful and the world doesn’t fully understand the beautiousness that is you. There’s no way that you’d ever be fat.
(You see how that doesn’t solve anything?)
Man Solution: Change clothes and put on something that doesn’t make you look fat.
Do you see how this works? Let’s solve a few more problems that women have, you know, like man.
Problem: I’m not sure if he likes me.
Man solution: Does he actually call you first and/or spend time with you even when he doesn’t or you’re on your “monthly?” If so, he likes you. If not, he’s banging your best friend.
Problem: My friends are trifling. My girl, Sharon, said that she was going to go with me to the mall but she flaked out on me for some dude. Ain’t she trifling?
Solution: Yes she is. Get a new friend. She will always put random men in front of you. She will let you die just to get some booty.
Problem: My boss passed me over for a promotion. Hold me and make me feel better.
Solution: No. Go postal. Just don’t fly a plane into the building. It’s bad for your skin.
Problem: I can’t tell if he loves me.
Solution: If he ain’t say it, he don’t do it. (Not sure why more women are so curious about this one. If a man doesn’t tell you he loves you or that you’re his girlfriend, he does not and you are not. Actions speak louder than words…unless words are available.)
Problem: My boyfriend cheated on me but I still really love him and don’t want to leave him. I’m so confrused like Young Buck calling 50 Cent. I just don’t know what to do but because I’m a woman I keep talking about this over and over.
Solution: He cheated once he’ll do it again. Either ship out, join in, or shut the f*ck up about it and accept that some other chick juggled your man’s balls. You clearly want to stay so stay and shut up about it. Everybody will judge you so just suck it up. The situation, not his balls. Well, do that too.
Problem: My boyfriend doesn’t like talking to me.
Solution: Get some girlfriends. Man watch TV.
Problem: I don’t understand men and need help.
Solution: Read Loveawake relationships blog.
Those are a few solutions to some common problems of women. Good people of the VSB, what are some other simple and common sense solutions to problems that arise? Don’t be shy.
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